Watch me!

A cool period.

She goes about her own business, pleasure, kicks. I am philosophical, relaxed, a little bit thrilled about the new life that lays open in front of me. There is a place in it for her - and always will be - but she's in retrospective now, or so I think a lot of the time (I don't want to talk about other times now).

The other day I took a bath in the middle of the day. She was getting ready to leave for an appointment. Or a hot, mid-day love and sex session. She wants something from the bathroom and when she enters I have an erection.

'Touch me', I ask on the spur of the moment (and the erection).
She looks at me clinically, curiously and coldly. 'No', she replies, but keeps looking at me. I start masturbating. 'Just watch me', I beg. She looks down on me, in both senses. I can't say whether she pities me or despises me more. In the background of her eyes, there is something that I cannot discern: is it a trace of arousal?

I'm not to find out as I ejaculate, she takes her eyes off my penis, looks at me in a way that I do't know how to interpret and closes the bathroom door

'Thank you', I say before she leaves the flat.