Let's go back a few weeks.
When I found out she had a lover, or was about to have one, my world collapsed and I collapsed. Strangely, my only lifeline was ... her. I felt as if she was taken completely out of my life - like by death. Despite all the warning signs (and my despicable behaviour beforehand was one of them), it took me by absolute surpirse and ... by the throat, hard.
I wasn't ready to lose her. I somehow foolishly thought it wouldn't happen, it couldn't happen to me, to us. Even though I often felt how thin a line I was walking, I just got used to this ... not happenning.
But now - and I harshly and solemnly knew it - her heart and her body were lost. My only hope was her mind. I realised, or rather felt acutely, to what degree she was involved in all my relations with the outside world. I needed her to restore my link with it, to get out of this dark and cold abyss I found myself in when I read those few words in her mobile, '... and I was gently kissing your neck all night'.
The only thing that could connect me with the living world was the connection of our minds. At least for a while. But it wasn't to be. Why didn't she - or couldn't she - talk to me openly about what's happened?
SoonI had a lot of time to ponder this lying on the bunk in the cell at the local police station.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment