We met 20 years ago. We married 17 years ago. We were the greatest lovers in the world. I looked at the whole world through her, I was the whole world to her. But she was strong and steadfast, I was weak and moody. And too young. We were the same age, which meant that she was older and wiser. I had my complexes, my fears, my insecurities. And she was so beautiful, so pure, so confident, so shining.
And often I was not up to her love, and whenever I wasn't, I despaired, I was angry, I hurt her - and then the vicious circle started: whenever I hurt her, I raged at myself and at the world for what happened. And I hurt her more in a suicidal desire to destroy what I damaged, because couldn't live seeing what harm I had done to such a beautiful thing.
Perhaps I was just mad.
But before the vicious circle set in, there was heaven.
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